The Beauty of a Moment...

We are half-way through our second week in Belo.  It's been awesome here so far, as I alluded to in my last post.  We have LOVED every day so far, and I've been super impressed with the team as most have gone for days without having a "low moment" to talk about when we debrief at the end of our day.  That's pretty impressive!  I'm so proud of them too, as they have all taken it on, some jumping completely out of their comfort zones into an unknown abyss that is over-seas missions.

Not speaking the language is always a real downer though, and we ALL struggle with that every day.  Sadly, there are never enough translators to go around.  But never underestimate the power of a smile!  The other night we were out on the streets ministering to the street kids, (one of my personal favorite things to do!) and I sat and listened to a 12 year old girl "playing" my guitar and singing.  She had an amazing and powerful voice, and a strum on the guitar that you just have in you - nothing like that can be taught - but she knew no chords, so simply moved one finger up and down the neck of the guitar as though she was creating the most beautiful sound there could ever be.  And you know what - it was!  I listened to 5 or 6 songs played exactly the same, yet watched as she was lost in what I have to assume were compelling lyrics… all in Portuguese, so a mystery to me, but I immediately followed her when she randomly broke into singing "Agnus Dei"first in Portuguese and then in English.

I had tears in my eyes wrapped up in the moment… and the ironic fullness of that moment.  I looked at her tattered clothes and filthy face, hands, legs and feet… imagining what life on the streets for her must be like.  I wanted to take her home… let her take a nice long shower, or soak in the bathtub, create one of my meals that people say they love so much, and then jump up on my couch together where I could teach her some chords so she will come even more alive while she plays and sings.  But I can't.  I can't even talk to her, let alone take care of her.  But I said to her through the translator… "You are beautiful, and so were those songs you just played for me."  We aren't supposed to give them things… but without thinking, as she handed me back my pick, I put it right back in her hand and said - "No, you keep this." She very gently put it in her shirt pocket and smiled at me.  She said, "I will keep it as a remembrance." I don't know if she will remember that moment or not - but I pray she does.  Not because of our interaction, but because God loves her so much… and that night He asked me to sit and listen to a 12 year old girl living on the street play my guitar… sing the songs she knows and loves… and affirm her worth and her God-given talent.  It was a priceless moment.

Brazil!!

You know how someone says to you, "Hey!  Let's go to… *fill in with random place you have NEVER considered going to," and the first thing you think is, "Um… nope.  Don't think so."?  Yeah.  That was Brazil for me.  The DTS Training Director said to me, "Hey!  I think we should send a team to Brazil for outreach…" to which I responded, "Um… nope.  Don't think so."  But in all fairness, this same person also thought I would go on outreach this school, and again - NOPE - was the first word that came to mind.  And here I sit, co-leading an outreach team to Brazil.  Might be a great idea to just say yes next time and save myself some hassle.

We began our journey in a town called Santa Cruz located within Rio De Janeiro.  We were there for a couple of days and then hopped on another jet plane up to a place called Belo Horizonte.  It was a nice surprise to end up here, where the weather for me is absolutely perfect!  It's cool enough at night to have on sweat pants, yet warm enough during the day for shorts and flip flops.  Yup… perfect!  We will be here in Belo for 3 weeks and then go back to Rio where we will be joining a Brazilian DTS outreach team working in local slums to finish out our time here.

So far, Belo has been amazing!!  Not just the weather, although I do have to keep mentioning that because it's so perfect, but the YWAM team here have such a smooth running machine, and it's been a pleasure joining in with them.  They are obviously used to teams, and in true YWAM form welcomed us so well and have been great at making us feel like we've come home.  One of my favorite parts about YWAM is that no matter where you go - when you connect with YWAM, you connect with an extended part of your family you just haven't met yet.  LOVE THAT.  So we have been enjoying getting to know the cuzzies in Brazil.  :)  Looking forward to all that God has for us during these next three weeks!

Adoption… New Decades… And Other Ponderings...

So.  I turned 50 on the 22nd of Feb.  50.  F.I.F.T.Y.  Five-O.  One-half century.  50 years of age… and since I asked Jesus into my heart when I was 8, that means I've been a Christian for 42 years. FORTY-TWO YEARS.  That's just a little crazy to me.  And that means I have been attached to Paradise Alliance Church in Paradise, California for 40 years, since I started going there initially when I was 10.  And that also means I have been out of High School for 34 years, and I graduated from university 29 years ago!  It is completely and totally feasible that my oldest child (if I had one) would be 31 years old - if I gave birth at 19 like my mom did.  I could EASILY be a grandmother.  I could have been married for 32 years had I gotten married at 18, like my mom.  OH. MY. WORD.  I have to say folks… when I go through that list - it absolutely and completely sounds like someone else's life - not mine!!!  But it does get me thinking about what I have accomplished in all these years… Maybe it's a good year to do some reflecting.  I'll tell you what -- it will definitely be a good year to do some CELEBRATING!!! 


I started to make a list, and got overwhelmed, realizing there was no way I could actually write down all the things I have done in my life - the amazing opportunities I had growing up in Hawaii… being able to go to university and get a degree in something I love… working at jobs that, for the most part, I really enjoyed - especially my 10 years at the Veterinary hospital… ultimately getting into full-time missions… depending on God fully for every cent I have now… traveling the world… living in a nation that won my heart years ago… having had the incredible privilege to walk along-side, learn from and hopefully inspire 500+ young adults through the DTS program… and now walking out God's call for the rest of my life to see the eradication of modern-day slavery… equipping individuals to empower the oppressed… setting the captives free… WOW!!  It's been a full life so far - that's for sure.  And the good news is - It aint over yet by a long shot!!  In some ways I feel like I'm just beginning the good part.  ha!  


One of the running themes throughout my life where I think I've seen God's hand most tangibly is through friendships.  I have had the honor of knowing, loving and being loved by some fabulous people!!  If you look at friendships in a monetary sense… I am a bazillionaire!!  And it doesn't stop!  I continue to cross paths with incredible people who make my life so much richer by just being in it.  I am truly blessed.  


God is blowing my mind too with new insights and revelations of his love… Just yesterday I was pretty overwhelmed looking out at my view and felt this huge sense of love and acceptance from God my father… wow!  After 42 years of knowing him… I still am getting deeper understanding and continued confirmations of how much he loves me.  Incredible!!  He's shown me in a fresh new way how he not only loves me as his adopted daughter… which I have fully understood my whole life because I am adopted in my family… but He also loves me as His own flesh and blood.  Wow.  Completely different concept and significance.  


Okay… enough sappy stuff.  I have to say that I'm really looking forward to this year because it IS a year of jubilee!!  Not sure what that will mean exactly… but it has a nice ring to it, and I'm excited to see what God has up his sleeve for me!  I know this - I am gonna grab this year by the throat and not let go till I get every single bit of life out of it.  hahaha  Okay… that sounded really… angry.  haha!  I think you get what I mean.  I'm not sliding through this year - I'm living it to the full!!   That is a worthy quest. 


One other thing I have decided to do in honor of my 50th year of life is to learn how to play the cello!!  Yeup.  I have been looking at them online to buy… and then realized I can rent one for 6 months!!  So that sounds like a better idea till I know what I want to buy.  I could be totally wrong - but I think I will pick it up pretty quickly.  I guess I'll find out!  I'm pretty excited about that though!!  Music has always been such a huge part of my life, so it'll be so cool learning a new instrument!!  


So here's to a great year of jubilee and celebration for ALL that I have to be thankful for.  I am humbled by the length of my list.  

To Celebrate or Not to Celebrate the "US" of Christmas…?

I just saw that I've had 1,131 views of my blog!  Seriously??  haha!  Well, that's good.  I was thinking maybe there had been 20, 18 of which are me coming to see if there are any comments.  I know - I don't need to do that because I also get an email when someone comments, but you know… just checking.  The truth is though, I'm not so concerned with whether people actually read this or not.  It's just kinda therapeutic to write sometimes, because I'm a verbal processor - ha!!  I'm sure other bloggers will agree.  So, if you're one of the 1,131 views on here, thanks!  I had no idea you were out there.  :)


It's Christmas time, and as you saw by the last blog entry I posted, my shared blog post from Jamie TVWM, you'll know that I too have had a hard time getting myself into the Christmas spirit this year.  I shouldn't be having SO much trouble, since it's been so rainy and cold-ish here lately.  Summer is definitely NOT here - YET.  I believe with all the faith in me that it's coming though!  And then, as normal, after about a month of awesome weather I'll be begging for some rain and cold again. Such is life.  My tree looks great though, and smells GREAT every day, so that helps.  That - and the few little things I have put out that I have traveled with now for years.  You can't haul around much when you've been as transient as I have been the last 14 years… but there are a couple of significant things that make their way to wherever I am at Christmas.  That - and the entire month of December nothing else gets played in my car but Christmas music.  It's a rule.


As I sat last night with just the Christmas tree lights on thinking about things… I couldn't seem to get away from the fact that I have so much when others have so little.  I am truly incredibly blessed to live where I live, do what I do, and to have the ability to fight for those who are trapped in modern-day slavery.  I still REALLY struggle with Christmas and our ridiculous obsession with STUFF.  Last year I opted out, and encouraged all my friends to do the same.  I asked them to buy something for a needy child instead of for me… and we all did just that instead of giving to each other, who already have MORE than we could possibly ever NEED.  It was fun!  So this year… I was kind of waiting to see if they wanted to do that again - but no one mentioned it.  I had to wonder whether it really made an impact on them at all…?  I want to believe it did, even though it seems everyone is "back to normal" this year.  I'm not "back to normal" though… doubt I ever will be again.  You just can't go back after having seen what I've seen around the world… and working in the area of human trafficking… it's impossible to ever be "normal" again.  And I'm really good with that!  I honestly wouldn't go back for anything.  


But I do have a dilema… what to do with Christmas.  I guess I'm still struggling with buying presents for my friends and family who really don't NEED anything.  It's not that I don't love them and want to express that… but is that what Christmas should be about??  US???  I don't think so… yet it's hard, because talk about being saturated, brainwashed, trained, conditioned, whatever you want to call it -- that we HAVE to get each other presents for Christmas.  UGH.  I did buy some stuff this year… but not much.  I just couldn't.  And it's not about love… it's not even about money so much… it's about that niggling part of my heart that just simply won't let me go there.  Is that okay??  I don't know.  All I know is I can't get away from it.  


What do you think about Christmas?  DO you think about Christmas??  What do you think Jesus thinks about Christmas…??  I wonder if he's sad at how we've twisted it into being about us.  Yeah, we might read the Christmas story, or have a nativity set up somewhere… but if we're honest… I'm pretty sure most of us spend more time worrying we won't get all our shopping done on time - rather than worrying we won't spend enough time honoring Jesus on his birthday.  I spent a LOT of years guilty as charged on that one.  


I want to continue to be ruined for the "normal" stuff of life… the "normal" way we celebrate Christmas.  I want it to be different.  I want it to be about people who don't have a clue what the love of God looks like.  My friends and family KNOW I love them.  If they doubt that because they don't get enough Christmas presents from me… then there's a lot more wrong with our relationship than a lack of presents.  The great part is - they're not like that, so it's not a worry for me… but for some it is!  How can we show people this Christmas how much God loves them… that he sent his son to be born in a manger… to live a sinless life so he could give his life for us and pay for the sins of mankind once and for all… that the gift of LIFE is what he offers… life after this one is over… when REAL life begins??!! 


Next Christmas I will once again be blowing my "don't spend money on me" horn, and encouraging my people to do the same.  When I think about doing that… I breathe a sigh of relief.  It's right.  It's good.  And I'm pretty sure it's what Jesus would be doing if he were here in the flesh on his birthday.  Anybody wanna join that party??  :)  

Re-Posting from "Jamie The Very Worst Missionary"

One of the blogs I follow is "Jamie The Very Worst Missionary".  She and her family live in Costa Rica.  She continually cracks me up, speaks the truth most of us don't dare say out loud (sometimes with colorful expletives, but always REAL) and this one in particular I thought was great!  I can so relate to struggling with Christmas in a HOT climate, having grown up in Hawaii and now living in NZ where Christmas happens in the summer and the only sleigh bells I hear are in the Christmas music that is continually pumping in my car from Dec 1st to the 26th.  It's the ONLY thing that makes me feel at all "Christmasy" around here.  Even the decorations in town and in the shops look… weird.  Anyway, enough from me!  Enjoy Jamie!!  :)

Mele Kalikimaka and all that crap.

As I write this, at 8 am, the sun is slipping across my desk through the slats in my bamboo shades. Barefoot and barely dressed, I'm sipping lukewarm coffee and wishing for a breeze to come and stir the air a bit. It's muggy.

My kids are off at noon every day this week, anxiously counting down until Friday, when summervacation begins. Of course, the end of this count-down signals the beginning of the next; “How many days 'til Christmas, Mom?” And I have to remind myself that, Oh yeah, it's Christmastime – which explains the six foot juniper, all bedazzled in the living room.

I don't wanna sound like a total b...erm, I mean...a total grinch, but I'm having a tough time getting in the mood for Holiday festivities. Christmas in the tropics is just too weird. The other day it was super sunny and windy, and I ran into a Costa Rican friend, who said, with a grin, “Doesn't it feel just like Christmas?!”

Squinting into the hot sun, I bitterly quipped, “Oh, yeah, just like Christmas. Mele Kalikimaka and all that crap.”

It's just that, until we moved to Costa Rica, I spent my whole life welcoming December with the cold, crisp air of Northern California filling my lungs, and with morning fog, and steaming breath, and a frozen, maraschino cherry of a nose. Where picking out a Christmas tree meant driving up to the snowy foothills and tromping through the forrest with pine needles stuck in your hair. It meant finding the perfect blue spruce and cutting it down with a hacksaw and coming home with your hands all sticky from sap. – Not pulling up to a dirt lot behind an old abandoned banana factory and sweating through your bra while a kid with a shovel digs up a juniper bush trimmed in the familiar cone shape of a Christmas tree.

Of course, I'm trying to remain impartial. 

I'm trying to remember that there are a gajillion different ways to enjoy the holidays. And I'm trying to remember that experiencing the traditions of another culture is a gift, a rich blessing – one that shouldn't be blown off with a flippant (and, oh-so-North-American), “That's not how we do it.” But this morning one of the sparkly baubles adorning our Christmas shrub popped off and went skittering across the ceramic floor to hide under the couch. It was so obvious that the holiday was taunting me - “Your tree sucks so bad, even the ornaments want nothing to do with it.”

Instead of taking my tree out back and setting it on fire, I poured some eggnog in my coffee and went to my room to find a book. It was a gift from my friend, John Blase. He sent it to me last year, and I knew this morning that it was time to read it again...

Last year, we had gone to the states in December, and I was super stoked because I wanted my kind of Christmas. Ya know? With that chill in the air and the yummy piney Christmas tree scent. But when we got there, instead of feeling all happy and nostalgic, I felt depressed and displaced. I can't exactly say why, and I'll spare you the boring details, but let's just say it was baaaad. Christmas came and went, and all I could think of was getting back on a plane, back to Costa Rica, back to normal life. Then, one day toward the end of the trip, when I was feeling particularly sad and self-absorbed, I picked up John's little book and locked myself in the bathroom where I read it from cover to cover.

John is a story teller of a different sort. The only way to describe him is simply to say that he picks perfect words. He chooses the kind of words that breath new life into old stories, and his tender retelling of the Christmas story is no different. 

Not gonna lie, the title, Touching Wonder, makes me chuckle as it conjures some truly sophomoric jokes - but I'm just stupid like that. It's the subtitle,Recapturing the Awe of Christmas, that really sings to me. And, last year, when I read this book on the toilet (lid closed, thankyouverymuch!), that's exactly what it helped me do. 

I just needed a little reminder that the story of Jesus wasn't built around tradition, it was built aroundpeople. Real people. Living, breathing, messy people. People who may have occasionally lost sight of the importance of what was happening in their lives, but still had a role in the story.

Don't get me wrong, I will always believe that tradition is lovely and valuable. And I think there's space for Christmas trees and Santa Claus and gift giving and eggnog and eating candycanes for dinner on Christmas Eve and again for breakfast on Christmas morning (What? You don't do that?!). And I cherish the way my kids say, “Remember that time...” and then we laugh about that one time when we crammed a 20 foot tree in our teeny-tiny house, or that other time when we spent hours making a popcorn garland and then we ate it.

But I'm learning that the oldest and richest traditions of Christmas are found, not in how we hang the stockings, bit in what we bring to the table as we seek Him, year after year. It's how we chase down the star that beckons us in the night, how we bring our gifts to the alter of a baby King, how we look for the path that God would have us traverse and then choose that path above all others. It's found in how we share the story of Jesus arrival with our children and our grandchildren... Even if it is under the twinkling lights of a juniper bush on an 80° day in December. ;)

About the whole "sleeping with your brother" thing…

Okay, so I'm not going to write EVERY DAY, but I thought perhaps it was necessary to at least explain the "sleeping with your brother" ponder I had a while back before too much time elapses from my last post.  Hope that is okay.  If it isn't okay - well - I'm pretty sure there isn't a gun to your head MAKING you read this.  :)  For those of you brave enough to continue… here we go!  (Don't worry - it's not going to be a long explanation)


So… you know how sometimes you read things in the Bible and then kind of go - wait, what? Well, this wasn't exactly one of THOSE times, but I was thinking about the Bible… Old Testament… and it occurred to me that there had to have been a time where God finally said to everyone - "Okay. I just need you to know that it is now NOT okay to sleep with your brother/sister in order to populate the earth."  One day it WAS okay… the next day (whenever that day was) it was NOT.  So I was wondering how/when that happened?  Was it weird? How can it (one day) not be weird, and then (the next day) be weird? hmm.  Did brothers and sisters have to fight hard to not have feelings for each other "like that"?  Or did they just decide that one of their cousins was way more attractive?  hmm.  It's on my list of "things to ask God about when I see him face to face."  I know what you're thinking too - "That will SO not be on your mind at that moment!"  Oh yeah??  Well, yes.  You are probably right.  Not in that first moment of being eye to eye with Him.  But… I have all eternity and you can bet it WILL come up in conversation at some stage.  


Yes.  I know.  I warned you… this blog is me.  Allllll me.  The good and bad, deep and shallow.  "I am, I said… to no one there..." hahaha! Sorry… random Neil Diamond song just came flying through the grey matter. Hopefully you ARE there and will even choose to come back for more.  That would be very cool.  


Oh - and would LOVE to hear your thoughts about this particular topic.  Have YOU ever thought about it?? 

I'm baaaaack!

Hey blog world!  So I've made a decision.  I am sending monthly newsletters out to those who are interested… mainly covering work stuff and whatever happens to be going on in that arena… but it's not the place where I can just talk about whatever is on my mind.  I was thinking about some great blogs that I read often, and thought - yeah!  I want to be doing more of that.  They are all so real and honest and thought-provoking, and pretty much make my day whenever there's a new post, so thought I'd give it a whirl and see what comes of it.  


I'm planning on just shooting from the hip on this one.  It might make you uncomfortable - in a good way hopefully - but it's going to be real.  There are things that I think we all need to think about… why we do what we do… and sometimes that means asking the hard questions.  The ones that you fully would have gotten in trouble for if you dared ask in church or even sometimes at home.  So how does that sound?  Will you come with me on a little journey of thought-provoking drivel? It won't always be that deep… but it will be things I am pondering I guess, which honestly, are sometimes shallow and stupid.  For example, I have spent a bit of time wondering when it became NOT okay to sleep with your brother…??  It WAS okay for a good long while - obviously.  Stuff like that.  (*example of the shallow, stupid things that wander through my mind unannounced at times.) 


Whether or not you come back… I'll be here.  :)  I'd love to hear from you though - because dialog is way more important than just talking to myself.  So if you have something to say - please feel free!  The only way your comments will NOT get posted is if you are abusive.  No one needs to hear that junk.  Other than that though… I'd love to hear what you think!  


The thing is… I don't know if you can even comment on here if you don't have a blog yourself - and that's lame.  So if anyone has any suggestions as to how I can do this more effectively so more people can jump in on the discussion - let me know, k?  Thanks!


OH!  I just saw where you can subscribe so you get my updates on here straight to your email - now there's an idea!  So give that a whirl if you want.  Looking forward to some good processing… and hopefully won't lose any of my ministry supporters along the way!  haha


Right now… I need to go do some work.  Back atcha lata!  Have a great day.  x