I just saw that I've had 1,131 views of my blog! Seriously?? haha! Well, that's good. I was thinking maybe there had been 20, 18 of which are me coming to see if there are any comments. I know - I don't need to do that because I also get an email when someone comments, but you know… just checking. The truth is though, I'm not so concerned with whether people actually read this or not. It's just kinda therapeutic to write sometimes, because I'm a verbal processor - ha!! I'm sure other bloggers will agree. So, if you're one of the 1,131 views on here, thanks! I had no idea you were out there. :)
It's Christmas time, and as you saw by the last blog entry I posted, my shared blog post from Jamie TVWM, you'll know that I too have had a hard time getting myself into the Christmas spirit this year. I shouldn't be having SO much trouble, since it's been so rainy and cold-ish here lately. Summer is definitely NOT here - YET. I believe with all the faith in me that it's coming though! And then, as normal, after about a month of awesome weather I'll be begging for some rain and cold again. Such is life. My tree looks great though, and smells GREAT every day, so that helps. That - and the few little things I have put out that I have traveled with now for years. You can't haul around much when you've been as transient as I have been the last 14 years… but there are a couple of significant things that make their way to wherever I am at Christmas. That - and the entire month of December nothing else gets played in my car but Christmas music. It's a rule.
As I sat last night with just the Christmas tree lights on thinking about things… I couldn't seem to get away from the fact that I have so much when others have so little. I am truly incredibly blessed to live where I live, do what I do, and to have the ability to fight for those who are trapped in modern-day slavery. I still REALLY struggle with Christmas and our ridiculous obsession with STUFF. Last year I opted out, and encouraged all my friends to do the same. I asked them to buy something for a needy child instead of for me… and we all did just that instead of giving to each other, who already have MORE than we could possibly ever NEED. It was fun! So this year… I was kind of waiting to see if they wanted to do that again - but no one mentioned it. I had to wonder whether it really made an impact on them at all…? I want to believe it did, even though it seems everyone is "back to normal" this year. I'm not "back to normal" though… doubt I ever will be again. You just can't go back after having seen what I've seen around the world… and working in the area of human trafficking… it's impossible to ever be "normal" again. And I'm really good with that! I honestly wouldn't go back for anything.
But I do have a dilema… what to do with Christmas. I guess I'm still struggling with buying presents for my friends and family who really don't NEED anything. It's not that I don't love them and want to express that… but is that what Christmas should be about?? US??? I don't think so… yet it's hard, because talk about being saturated, brainwashed, trained, conditioned, whatever you want to call it -- that we HAVE to get each other presents for Christmas. UGH. I did buy some stuff this year… but not much. I just couldn't. And it's not about love… it's not even about money so much… it's about that niggling part of my heart that just simply won't let me go there. Is that okay?? I don't know. All I know is I can't get away from it.
What do you think about Christmas? DO you think about Christmas?? What do you think Jesus thinks about Christmas…?? I wonder if he's sad at how we've twisted it into being about us. Yeah, we might read the Christmas story, or have a nativity set up somewhere… but if we're honest… I'm pretty sure most of us spend more time worrying we won't get all our shopping done on time - rather than worrying we won't spend enough time honoring Jesus on his birthday. I spent a LOT of years guilty as charged on that one.
I want to continue to be ruined for the "normal" stuff of life… the "normal" way we celebrate Christmas. I want it to be different. I want it to be about people who don't have a clue what the love of God looks like. My friends and family KNOW I love them. If they doubt that because they don't get enough Christmas presents from me… then there's a lot more wrong with our relationship than a lack of presents. The great part is - they're not like that, so it's not a worry for me… but for some it is! How can we show people this Christmas how much God loves them… that he sent his son to be born in a manger… to live a sinless life so he could give his life for us and pay for the sins of mankind once and for all… that the gift of LIFE is what he offers… life after this one is over… when REAL life begins??!!
Next Christmas I will once again be blowing my "don't spend money on me" horn, and encouraging my people to do the same. When I think about doing that… I breathe a sigh of relief. It's right. It's good. And I'm pretty sure it's what Jesus would be doing if he were here in the flesh on his birthday. Anybody wanna join that party?? :)
I think it's a good idea, I tried it last year with my family - only got a few strange looks (don't usually do pressies for anyone else). Although we do presents for the kids along the lines of - something new, something made and sometimes something 2nd hand - I don't ask them what they want though, so it doesn't become a shopping list. This year my mum suggested we buy something via tearfund etc. So hopefully it has caught on for good. We will have family time with a nice meal on the day though - I think it is much better than getting stressed about what to buy and having a day focused on receiving when it feels so much better to give . . . something that is actually worthwile.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments Tina… Glad you are trying it too! I do believe back in the day Christmas pressies were ONLY necessity gifts - hence the socks and underwear jabs. It's just gotten WAY out of hand. I'm all about giving someone what they NEED. That to me seems like something Jesus would do. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Patty, it is interesting that at Christmas there is often much consideration given to the act of giving to people who have sufficient. And I often hear that because Jesus was born we should be giving only to Him by helping others. Sometimes I think it can sound like it's a moral issue. ie It is wrong to give at this time of the year, and especially to those who have 'enough'. Is it? Christmas is historically not just a Christian festival (even though I love it that Christians use it for the glory of God). I myself wonder if Jesus did in fact give gifts for say birthdays or special festivals when He lived here. Not all the people he would have been intimately related to would have been poor. Can we give gifts wisely (each to his own) AND use the Christian celebration to impress what hopefully we've been living and exuding during the year; that as you say God loves His broken world immeasurably and unbelievably?
ReplyDeleteIn saying this, your post is personal to you and a good one in that it, as always, at this time of the year, caused me to think about what we do and why. And to consider the balance or imbalance that exists in my life living in this culture. I liked that. x
This has definitely been on my mind a lot this year. I decided to make as many gifts as I could, and my in-laws did a 'secret santa' this year, which helped alleviate some of the stress of checking off everyone's name on 'the list'. I don't necessarily feel as much of an expectation externally as I do internally... I want to express how much each person means to me by giving them a well-thought out, and in some cases, custom-made gift.
ReplyDeleteWe are spending a lot less this year, partly out of necessity and partly because we think it's ridiculous the way we "do" Christmas in the West. I share a lot of your sentiments but I still place a lot of relational value in gift-giving... not so much for myself (I don't have many wants that can be "gifted" by people), but for others. But if I want to give gifts, I can't deny that joy from others towards me.
I think, bottom line, it's not the giving & receiving of gifts that's the problem, it's the attitudes we have ingrained in us about giving & receiving gifts. I'm pretty determined to follow a similar rule to Tina's with my own kids someday, to try to reduce the expectations and hopefully up the gratitude a little... I think I might have a hard time convincing their grandmas to follow that rule, though. ;)
Robin… thanks for commenting! Yes, I know it can come across as a moral issue, and I don't mean it that way. This was a personal post from me about my own process… hoping it would maybe get people to think about their own journeys and how they are doing this whole Christmas thing.
ReplyDeleteChristmas has BECOME not about Jesus in many circles, but that doesn't change the fact that without Jesus Christmas wouldn't BE. So that to me isn't the issue. And giving presents to people we love isn't the issue either. But why can't we give presents to the people we love on THEIR birthdays, or at some random time during the year - and keep Christmas about Jesus?
I agree that Jesus would have fully given gifts to people to celebrate b-days (if that was the cultural norm) but I'm not sure he would be telling everyone to give gifts to each other on HIS birthday…? And, I also don't think we should only be considering and giving to those in need at Christmastime. That should also be something we do all year long. Seeing people how Jesus sees them.
I think you hit it on the head though in thinking about imbalance. I guess that's my point. It all seems really whacked and OUT of balance when I look around me - and what I have seen in my own life in years past. Gifts are not wrong. Gifts at Christmas are not wrong. But if it becomes ALL about that… and stress… and overspending… and obligation… and cultural "norms" that bring us more agro than joy… maybe we need to have a look at that. Motives - yes! KEY element. xx
Ciara… thanks! Appreciate your comments. I totally get it about the relational part of Christmas. And that's why I bought some gifts this year. It's just something I'm pondering… rolling over in my head and heart… making sure I don't miss what it's really all about because of the commercialism and indoctrination that it's all about US. Trust me - if I was crafty like you - I'd be making stuff too! haha I don't have that luxury though. :)
ReplyDeleteI love that you've been thinking about how you'll do it with your kids… awesome! And yeah - might need to start praying NOW for the grandmas. That's a tough one. :)
I love all the discussion here about the true meaning of Christmas! I've been talking with my kids about remembering what Christmas is truly about and not wondering about what they are going to get under the tree this year! They are getting the necessities this year and that's pretty much it. I think the stockings are going to be more fun with a few fun little things they can enjoy all year long :) The commercialism really gets me down and I never let shopping stress me out...As far as friends go...I think giving time is the best gift ever! With so many things going on in our lives we tend to not have enough time to just spend with each other, sharing and talking. So...maybe plan to head out to dinner or for a walk with friends this year and enjoy the company. The gift of love and companionship :) I can teach you how to knit Patty...if you want? It's easy, fun and makes good gifts too! Lots of love!
ReplyDeleteI thought I posted earlier but I did something wrong. Anyway. Merry Christmas. Blessings in Christ. I love this time of year. I a not overwhelmed at all by the deluge of commercialism. This is not because of who I am but because of who He is. He continues to change me and I gotta tell ya, it makes me feel good because I have hope.
ReplyDeleteI believe that you are on the right track Patty. We are not a wealthy family yet I know that we have all that we need. What else can I do but give to the needy. I spent many years being VERY selfish! (I still am, surely, but now I am convicted to resist).
This is just my PERSONAL feeling regarding your post. Keep up the great work Patty. Praying for you.
Townzy… thanks for your contribution to the discussion! Love it! I agree time is the best gift - just hard to do when you live 50 thousand miles from the ones you would love to spend time with. :) I don't struggle with the people I live with all the time. That is easy for me to BE with them. It's my far away friends that can be the challenge. Knitting! hahaha Um… thanks for the offer… not sure my crazy life has time for knitting though. :) Feel free to knit me something though if you get bored! haha
ReplyDeleteHey Mike! Thanks for your post. Yup… I love this time of year too!! It has always been my favorite… people are nicer… there seems to be a deeper sense of "love" in the air… all that good stuff. I guess being overseas has just ruined me to a lot. Sounds negative, but it's not. I love that my eyes have been opened to all that is around us, and that I have some solid friendships with people in really really hard situations around the world. It puts it all in perspective for me I guess.
ReplyDeleteI loved what you said about still being selfish, but have the conviction to resist. THAT'S what I'm talking about! It's a conviction in my heart to resist the "norm" just because that's how it's done. So yeah. I hear ya!
Thanks for your prayers! I not only appreciate them, but NEED them. Good to know you're there. Have an awesome Christmas and together we will celebrate the HOPE in Jesus! Love it! :)
Hi Patty, your post certainly made me think. We have been on a really tight budget for the past couple years and last year I spoke with my mother-in-law about it and she suggested buying a game for the whole family which is what I did and have done this year. It has helped me not feel guilty about not getting them a present and I can save buying them a good present for their birthdays. It also means they can spend time as a family. It is really difficult because we see so much commercialisation in this country. I HATE taking the kids into the supermarket because it becomes a "I want this, can I have this" trip - they are only 6 and 4 so I guess to be expected. We did shoes boxes with them this year which they loved doing and hopefully I have explained well enough why we did it, I hope that I get the balance right. That christmas day doesn't just become one present-opening fest and that I teach the kids to appreciate what they have and that its because of Jesus that we celebrate.
ReplyDeleteThanks George!! Sounds like you're really thinking it through too! Love that. You have an amazing opportunity with raising your kids to show them what Christmas IS about… and what it's NOT. Good on ya!!! Go for it! :)
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