It's just one of those… few months!

Life for me the last few months has been a practical application of the word "flexibility".  Good thing I have that one firmly tucked under my belt - thanks YWAM - and so it hasn't exactly thrown me… but my neck is a little sore from all the whipping around!  Here's an example: I have honestly tried to sit down and write a newsletter about 6 times since my last one - which was like in December or some crazy long time ago.  For one reason or another it hasn't gotten written, and about two days after each attempt to write it, pretty much everything I was going to say I was doing fell apart, changed, or for whatever reason became non-existent.  WEIRD.  So I've been kinda glad I never actually wrote anything, or I would have had to turn around the next week and send a one liner that says, "I'm sorry.  Disregard everything in the last newsletter, because it's not happening anymore".  hmm.  Maybe what I have perceived as a lack of motivation has actually been God's hand intervening, knowing this roller coaster I'm on will be taking some 360's I'm not expecting.  I do know that He DOES KNOW, and that's really pretty comforting in the middle of the chaos!

I'm taking a few days to pray through all these changes though, so I can be sure I'm making wise decisions based on the things that have transpired.  You know how at times you feel like you are in a car just sort of spinning out of control, and really what you need is a huge magnet that will come down and *SLAM* into the roof just to stop it so you can see straight for a minute?  Yup.  That would be nice right about now.  I've decided to get out of the car all together and take a hike down to where I can sit on the grass by the river's edge completely distancing myself from the sounds of the other cars flying past me.  I need some "still water", and some "restoring of my soul".  


Hey - side note - I know I have told a few of you about this incredible new piece of history I learned at church a couple of Sundays ago, but let me tell the rest of you cuz it's way cool:  Apparently the Jews in Bible times were hugely afraid of the water in a lake because they thought there were demonic forces that lived in the bottom of them.  So being fishermen was a huge challenge for them!  Think about what the implications of that fact have to do with these two stories:  Peter walking on the water, and Psalm 23.  What hit me most was the Psalm 23 part.  

This is an example of a picture
from the Bible Story Book

You know how we grow up believing that the "still waters" of Ps 23 are peaceful and calm?   I was raised in a 7th Day Adventist school, and we had these Bible story books where all the pictures were sort of… soft and perfect. I always thought about it like that - Jesus sitting with me beside a beautiful stream with a few awesome trees and lots of green grass where we would lay on our backs and get lost pointing out cloud shapes… all in rather soft pastel colors.  Yeah!  That was the picture my whole life.  Until now.  


If the Jewish connotation of "still waters" was where demonic forces lived, then really, God is promising to lead us by our most terrifying fears… but promising also to restore our souls in the process.  WOWSER!!!  I don't know about you - but that rocked my world.  No more laying there whistling through blades of grass without a care in the world!  Here's the kicker though - my God has promised to not just walk with me past those terrifying things, but He is LEADING me beside them!  All for the purpose of ultimately restoring my soul, healing my wounds, giving me the grace to face my fears, and strength to look my insecurities and anxieties straight in the eye… because restoration can only come once you see what it is that has ripped you off.  Okay.  So does that rock your world even a little bit??  Am I the only one??  


Sorry - long side note. :)  


Back to where I started… I don't know how all that is going on around me will resolve, but this I do know:  I am NEVER alone.  I have the mastermind of the universe giving me wisdom and direction and discernment.  So if you have some time and would like to pray with me these next few days - that would be awesome!  I am so convinced that I'm on the right path… and I believe that nothing is wasted in God, so I continue to say "bring it!" because all things DO work together for GOOD for those who love God and are called according to his purpose.  And that's me.  I love God, and I'm called.  So yeah. Bring it.  :)  


And keep your eyes out for that newsletter.  I'm pretty sure it's not all that far away.